There are two main possibilities to consider when examining if a Christian couple (whether dating, engaged or married) can attend different churches:
- The first possibility is if the two churches represent different denominations. The most important issue that needs to be addressed here is whether or not each person in the couple is saved. Have you each submitted to Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour? Do you each have a deep, living relationship with Him? If each of you knows Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour, then there’s no biblical reason why you shouldn’t date or marry. However, problems will potentially arise in your relationship. Your families may not agree with your decision to date someone from another denomination. Your respective churches may even advise against it. Be prepared that you may need to address these issues if (and probably when) they arise
- The second possibility is if the two churches are of the same denomination, but they differ in music, preaching or worship styles, etc. It may be that one member of the couple is more comfortable with worshipping in a particular style or setting and the other person is more comfortable in a different one. In this case, there shouldn’t be any aspect that’s significant enough to cause a rift between the couple, so there’s no reason why each member can’t attend a different church. But on the flip side, if both churches are Bible-based and Christ-honouring, there may be no good reason why one person can’t put his or her personal preferences aside in order to spend time worshipping with their partner.
While there’s nothing wrong with each person in a couple attending a different church, so long as the couple agree on the essentials of their faith, it’s nonetheless better for the couple to worship together.
If you’re married or are planning to marry, then you need to consider which church would become the ‘family church’. It’s not healthy for the entire family for some of the children to worship at one church with one parent and the others to worship at another with the other parent.
To bring harmony to your relationship, one of you at least may have to compromise and attend a church that’s different to what you’re used to. If your churches are radically different from one another, or if each of you simply aren’t comfortable when attending the other’s church, then you may decide to each leave your respective church and find a new one which you’re both happy with. For the benefit of your relationship – and later on, your family – it could be for the best.