Have I Found The Right Person

Knowing when we’ve found the right person to marry can be a hard call. It’s so easy to get caught up in the excitement of a relationship, without carefully assessing if the other person is truly suitable for us.

You’ve probably heard more than one person say, ‘Things were great while we were dating – but as soon as we married, everything changed!’

So how can you know when you’ve found the right person – before committing yourself to a lifelong marriage? Here are some tips that can help:

• This may sound obvious, but you must genuinely love the other person. In order to determine this, you need to distinguish real love from its counterfeits, which can include lust, companionship or just plain habit.
• You need to be practical. If you live countries apart and there’s no chance of either of you getting a visa, then a marriage most likely won’t work. Are there any major barriers between you? If so, God may have placed them there. You need to seek Him before you do anything further.
• You and the other person need to have compatible characters. This doesn’t mean that you must have the same personality – not at all. As the old saying goes, ‘opposites attract’ – and it’s so true. But when it comes to the essentials (religion, morality, belief systems), then you must agree. If something in your relationship is difficult now, it will only increase after you’ve married.
• You must share a vision for your mutual future. If one of you desire a home and family but the other one wants a jet setting lifestyle, then a marriage is unlikely to work. Have you got enough common ground upon which to build a future together?
• Most importantly, you need to ask God whether you’ve found the right person. God knows you and wants what is best for you. Earnestly seek Him. If he says ‘No’ to this relationship, it’s because He has someone (or something) more perfect planned for you. Listen for His voice and obey Him when He responds.

A common problem in Christian couples is the failure of each person to put God first. Many current and future husbands and wives idolise their partner instead of God, looking to him or her instead of to God for answers, provision and affirmation.

Both before and during marriage, each person should spend time in prayer and worship on their own, as well as together as a couple. This will assist you both to make good decisions before you marry, as well as to keep your relationship strong once you’re married.

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