How Can I Get Back Into The Dating Game?

‘I haven’t dated anyone since I married my wife more than fifteen years ago. She passed away early last year and now I feel like I’m ready for a new relationship. But I’ve got no idea how to start dating again after so long. What would you suggest?’

If you haven’t dated for a long time, then the thought of doing so again can be very intimidating. If you’ve just come out of a long relationship or marriage which turned nasty, or if you’ve suffered the loss of your spouse, it can be even more difficult as your emotions are already shaky.

But here are some guidelines for when you feel that you’re ready to date once again:

• First things first, don’t do anything until after you’ve spoken with God. He knows exactly what’s going on in your life – but that doesn’t mean that He doesn’t want to hear about it from you. Best of all, He knows what’s around the corner as well – so ask Him for His guidance, before you embark on this journey. He will also be your travelling companion and navigator, so make sure that you invite Him along for the ride


• It’s important to establish good habits, which will provide a firm foundation for the coming weeks and months:
  • Read your Bible every day – God speaks to us most frequently through His Word and you need to hear what He has to say to you
  • Commit your dating life to God, and agree not to make any relationship decisions without His approval


• You also need to remember not to begin dating again until after you’ve dealt with the hurt and anger of a break-up or divorce, or the grief and despair of losing your spouse. You’ll never be able to put the necessary energy into a new relationship, until you’ve moved on sufficiently. It’s also incredibly unfair to anyone who you date, if you can’t focus on him or her because your head is still tied up in someone else. Move on from your last relationship, before you seek a new one


• After breaking up with your partner or suffering the death of your spouse, it’s easy to feel as though you’ll never find someone else. But trust that God has everything under control and step out with confidence in Him. Don’t be discouraged if your first attempts at dating aren’t hugely successful – sooner or later you’ll meet someone who makes you want to fall in love again

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