Can A New Christian & An Established Christian Date?

By Karyn Markwell | 11-Feb-09 in Dating
Karyn Markwell

‘Can a new Christian have a relationship with a more established Christian?’ J

The short answer is yes, a new Christian and a more established Christian can date.

It’s not possible to be ‘more Christian’ than another Christian – we’re either a Christian or we’re not. So in that aspect a ‘new Christian’ and an ‘established Christian’ are equally Christian and can therefore date without being unequally yoked.

However, there are a few important things to consider:

  1. It’s possible for someone who believes that they’re a Christian to be a false convert: it’s usually newer Christians who are false converts, as their faith hasn’t yet been tested. At the first sign of trouble or persecution, these false converts usually abandon the Christian faith, because they weren’t really saved to begin with. Established Christians should therefore ensure that the new Christian who they’re considering dating is in fact genuinely saved

  2. False converts & new Christians can draw established Christians away from their faith: when Christians choose to date false converts or new Christians, their intentions are usually good – they usually believe that their faith will remain strong and that the other person won’t be able to draw them away from God. But much, much more frequently, the false convert or new Christian will draw the established Christian away from their faith. The false convert or new Christian usually doesn’t do this intentionally, but as their focus will be self-centred instead of Christ-centred, their choices, words and actions will reflect their worldly views. While the false convert will never likely break this pattern (unless they become genuinely saved), with prayer and Bible study, the new Christian will in time become more Christ-like. But until they do, they will have the opportunity to negatively influence the established Christian who they’re dating

  3. Established Christians are responsible for newer Christians: God expects established Christians to set younger Christians a good example and to help them to become strong in their faith. But the lures of the world are strong and what usually happens instead is that both the established Christian and the new Christian (or false convert) who are dating will fall into sin – usually sexual sin. In this case, both will be guilty of having sinned, but the established Christian will be held responsible. The Bible says, ‘But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea’ (Mt 9:42)

If a new Christian is genuinely saved, then there’s no reason why they shouldn’t date an established Christian. If a Christian couple remember to pray and study the Bible together and commit their relationship to God, He will give them the strength they need to overcome all temptations and challenges.


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