Should I Attempt To Convert My Non-Christian Fiancée?

By Karyn Markwell | 13-Mar-09 in Engagement
Karyn Markwell

‘Should I attempt to convert my non-Christian fiancée (a Muslim girl) to our religion?’

When Christians become engaged to someone from another religious group, their intentions are usually good. They often believe that:

  • their faith will remain strong and their spouse won’t be able to draw them away from God
  • they’re doing God an act of service by marrying someone who they intend to win to Christ

But the Bible warns Christians not to marry – and therefore not to becoming engaged to, or even date – non-Christians. Here’s why:

  • When we become Christians, we no longer belong to ‘our father the devil’, but to God. Those who belong to God and those who belong to the devil (all non-believers) cannot coexist in harmony together: ‘Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?’ (1 Co 6:14-15)

  • As Christians, we cannot choose to live a lifestyle that is contrary to God’s Word, just because we prefer to: ‘Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind’ (Ro 12:2)

  • The non-Christian world is watching all followers of Christ and they rejoice when we stumble. Those who hate God would love to be able to prove that everyone who follows Him are hypocrites – the last thing they want to discover is that God is actually real and that they will be held accountable for not serving Him. By dating or becoming engaged to non-believers, we are disobeying God’s commands – we are in effect announcing to the world that we are hypocrites

This is a good warning for Christians before they date non-Christians, but how about those who are already in love with and engaged to non-Christians? How about those who are married to non-Christians?

The answer to the question ‘Should we attempt to convert our non-Christian fiancés / spouses?’ is most definitely ‘Yes’! They need God’s saving grace in order to have their sins forgiven, to escape Hell and to spend eternity with Him.

  • In the case of Christians who are married to non-Christians, we need to persevere in our marriages, attempting daily to convert the other person through our godly example. We cannot divorce them in order to remarry a Christian

  • For Christians who are dating or are engaged to non-Christians, they should commit not to marry until after they are converted. God loves them and wants them to be saved – He will therefore assist us in our efforts to convert them
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